But I feel like it’s getting close. I need someone who I could talk to. I’ve told one person and I haven’t realize the severity of my situation till I had to tell him. But he doesn’t know what to do and he can’t do anything because he’s miles away. I can’t and choose not to tell anyone else because I don’t know how they’ll take it. I kind of have it under control as of now. But I’m just scared that one day it’s going to get so bad that it’s going to be too late to finally open up.
9teen. 808state. luckyiliveHI. 5T4S.
WHS alumni. RW. I11est. WOU freshmen.
JAB. SALA. F&D. QB. lkvd.
There are people here that I know cares about me and they have asked me what’s bothering me. But I just can’t tell them. I’m not one to just spill my emotions on any random person. It makes me feel bad when I don’t tell them. I don’t want them to think that I don’t trust them enough to share what’s on my mind. I know they mean the best for me, but it’s just hard. This sucks. I just want need to go home.
I have probably felt this way before. But I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been this intense. I don’t know what to do. I want to be genuinely happy again. I mean like, whenever I’m enjoying myself something always comes up and always brings me down. I don’t want anyone’s pity and I’m definitely not trying put blame on others around me. I just can’t seem to be…myself anymore.
When people come to me for advice when they’re feeling down, my advice usually revolves around “Who cares what others think, your opinion is the only one that matters.” I should really take my own advice. I’ve been so depressed for a while now. It doesn’t seem like it, but I am. There’s no one to blame but myself. No one can help because I don’t see how they can. I cry and pout all the time but that’s not helping anything. Hmm. I seriously need to suck it up and be optimistic. Like Optimus Prime.
